​What if I told you I had the secret to having a stronger immune system, lower blood pressure, and a better night’s sleep? The secret to being more alert, alive and awake. The secret to optimism and happiness? According to the decade long research done by Robert Emmons at The University of California, there a way to improve our physical, emotional and social health - and the secret is practicing gratitude. 
 
Emmons studied over a thousand people with ages ranging from eight to 80 years old. He found that people who are consistently thankful report benefits in their emotions, their health and their relationships with others. 
 
One of the easiest ways to cultivate gratitude is to use a gratitude journal. Like anything else in life, we have to be intentional about being thankful. Being thankful is easy when things are going well but practicing gratitude on a bad day is much harder. 
 
Do you think you can find 25 things to be thankful for every day for the next 25 days? That is our challenge to you! Once a day, every day, write down 25 things you are thankful for. The next day do the same thing. The lists can have similar things on them - but no cheating! Don’t copy your list from the day before. 
 
An important factor is consistency! If you miss a day, then the 25 days start over again. I’m currently doing this and I’m on day five (for the second time). 
 
Here are some sample things I’ve listed: air conditioning, a good parking space at Kroger, my family, my phone screen not cracking when I dropped it, a job that I love, friend who care about me, the milk wasn’t expired when I wanted a bowl of cereal. 
 
Can you join our challenge? What are some things that you are thankful for? 

The idea of being sad in the summer seems counterintuitive. Being sad feels associated with dreary winter days and no sunshine. However, the reality is that feeling a kind of seasonal sadness in the summer is perfectly normal. During the summer kids and teens are thrown off their normal schedule and routines. They might mess up our circadian rhythm by staying up too late and sleeping through the afternoon. There can be a sense of purposelessness in the summer without a school schedule to think about. 
 
Can you relate to this feeling of summertime sadness? If so, you aren’t alone. We have some suggestions for how you can battle the summertime blues: 

1. Keep a consistent eating schedule 
Don’t confuse your body with a weird eating schedule. Set yourself a consistent schedule so that you aren’t experiencing a blood sugar drop in the middle of the day. The schedule can be as simple as wake up at 9, eat lunch at 12, eat dinner at 6. When we let ourselves be inconsistent about eating our blood sugar will fluctuate and can impact our moods.

2. Don’t confuse your circadian rhythm 
Being awake during the day is important for our bodies natural rhythm. Our circadian rhythm is an internal biological clock that controls our sleepiness and wakefulness. If we stay up all night and sleep all day our circadian rhythm is thrown off which can cause us to feel moody or sad. 

3. Give yourself purpose 
Give yourself some (fun) summer goals that you can accomplish. Set your sights on reading five books this summer or learning a new skill. Just because school is out doesn’t mean that there can’t be a sense of purpose about your days. 

4. Get out of the house 
Take a shower! Put something on other than your pajamas! When you live in PJs and don’t brush your hair you are more likely to feel sad. Give yourself a reason to put on some normal clothes and take a trip to the park. 
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5. Turn off the TV & phones  
Having your face glued to a TV screen for hours upon hours can seem tempting. TV helps pass the time quickly and numbs you to anything else. But watching so much TV and numbing yourself out of feelings leaves you feeling empty and bored at the end of the day. Turn off the TV and put down the phone for a little bit of time and take a break from the screen. 
 
Summer can be a time of fun and relaxation! It is also the perfect time to find some balance and keep working towards healthy habits that lead to a well rounded life. Don’t let yourself get caught up in the summertime sadness. If you are feeling a sense of sadness this summer that can’t be solved by these suggestions, please seek help from a professional therapist. Some things we need help to work through and that’s normal and okay! 

Summer is coming. For kids and teens this might be exciting - two months away from a classroom! For parents this might be terrifying - two months with kids at home all day! For some this might be anxiety provoking - how long will it be before I feel bored? 

Having a good summer might require some planning! We have compiled a list of some free (or very inexpensive things) you can do in Athens that will make the summer feel a lot more fun. 

1. Head to Your Local Library 

Did you know your local library offers free events in the summer (and all year long!) for children and for teens? Check out what events your library is offering this summer. Events might range from kid’s storytime to teen stand up comedy. The library also does reading challenges for kids over the summer. If kids/teens read enough books there are prizes that they can get for completing the challenges! Upcoming events might include Lego Club, Beauty and the Beast Fairytale Ball and Preschool Story Time. 
Oconee County Library 
ACC Library 
Bogart Library 

2. Bear Hollow Zoo & Memorial Park 
​Bear Hollow Zoo is a place for families to come and see Georgia wildlife. Admission is free and Bear Hollow Zoo is located next to Memorial Park where there is a playground and walking trail. 

3. Sandy Creek Park 
Sandy Creek Park is located in Athens on Lake Chapman and has a beach, disk golf course, dog parks, fishing, hiking, picnic areas and playgrounds. This is a great play to go swim, hike and spend some family time together. Admission is $2 per person. 

4. Georgia Museum of Art 
Go to the Georgia Museum of Art to visit the thirteen galleries that hold permanent collections as well as the exhibitions currently on view. Admission is free, though you will have to pay for parking at the PAC deck. Parking is free on Saturdays and Sundays. You can also park in surface lot E11 for free on Saturdays and Sundays and after 4:00 on weekdays. 

5. State Botanical Garden of Georgia 
The State Botanical Garden is a free garden conservatory that has walking paths, a greenhouse, and education programs for kids. Admission to the Gardens is free. 

6. World of Wonder Park 
The very cool World of Wonder Park has ten slides and a three-story slide tower. It also has a rock climbing wall, and lots of park bench swings for parents. 

​Summer is the perfect time to hang out by the pool, take a trip to visit family and - start your child or teenager in counseling. That’s right, summer might be the perfect time to begin counseling services for your son or daughter. 

Schedule-wise, counseling in the summer might seem daunting. You might be trying to work around summer camps or football practice. But counseling in the school is even more daunting - especially when your therapist has only a certain amount of slots available after school and every other parent is trying to get those times. Scheduling with a counselor in the summer can actually be easier than it is in the school year. 

Counseling works best when it starts before a problem does. Are you worried about your child’s transition into elementary, middle or high school? Do you already think that your child or teen is having anger problems and worry about how those will play out in August when school starts? Get ahead of problems by anticipating them and bringing your child or teen to counseling to learn tools to handle situations before they occur. 

I always tell parents that summer can be the best time for a child or teen to experience emotional growth through counseling. It is the only time of year that their energy and attention is not taken up with the stress of school. During the summer, kids have extra energy to turn towards processing emotional issues. They are able to focus on learning and practicing new skills in a low risk environment. 

Counselors can anticipate that the first or second week of school will be when parents begin calling and seeking services for their children. Some of the problems that show up during these first two weeks of school are surprises - parents can’t anticipate that their son/daughter might have someone in their class they really can’t get along with. However, there are problems that we can anticipate and as parents can get ahead of by starting counseling before school starts. 

If you know your child or teen could benefit from working on learning new emotional skills to add to their toolbox don’t wait until August to call and make an appointment with a counselor. If you are planning on being in town this summer, it could be a perfect time to get a head-start on being emotionally healthy! 

If you haven’t heard about the Netflix original show 13 Reasons Why (based on the book Thirteen Reasons Why  by Jay Asher), it might be a good time to acquaint yourself with the premise of the show. If you have a teenager, they have probably watched this show or are hearing all of their friends talking about it at school. 13 Reasons Why is a story about a 17-year-old teen named Hannah Baker who commits suicide and leaves behind 13 tapes for the 13 people that she says contributed to the decision to kill herself. The show has started a national conversation about teen suicide and how it has been portrayed in this show. 

The creators of the show and the author of the book have shared that they intentionally made choices in filming to demonstrate that suicide is real and that actions have consequences. They defend their choices to show graphic sexual assault scenes and a graphic suicide scene in a show geared towards teens and young adults.

The show has certainly sparked conversation about suicide, why it happens and how it impacts survivors of suicide. However, there are many things about the way the show presents suicide that concern me as a mental health professional. My primary concern is that teenagers who are binge watching this show on Netflix do not have the ability to process what is accurate and what is inaccurate about how suicide is portrayed in this series. 

Though you can not “catch” a mental illness, suicidal contagion is something that is well documented by research. Suicidal contagion is a very real phenomenon in which publicity surrounding a suicide is linked to a subsequent increase in suicide, especially among teenagers and young adults. Fictional dramatizations, such as the one in 13 Reasons Why, have been associated with a risk in suicide, as demonstrated by multiple researchers. It is important not to glamorize suicide or to make it seem like a simple solution for escape.

The way that media covers suicide can increase the rate of suicide if the suicide is not discussed in a responsible manner. This risk increases when the suicide method is described, or in the case of 13 Reasons Why, is shown in an extremely graphic scene that plays out as a how-to guide for suicide. Another concern is that imagining that you can kill yourself to get back at people who wronged you "feels like an adolescent fantasy," according to Dr. Victor Schwartz, medical director of the JED Foundation.

13 Reasons Why has started a conversation about teen suicide and introduced a way for parents, teachers and counselors to talk about suicide in a way that may feel more accessible to teens. Talking openly about thoughts of suicide and about emotional distress is okay and will not increase someone’s risk of suicide if they are already having suicidal thoughts. There are resources available for anyone who is having suicidal thoughts. However, 13 Reasons Why shows Hannah reaching out to a school counselor who is unable to identify that she is struggling or help her. This is not an accurate portrayal of mental health providers and discourages teens from reaching out if they need help. 

13 Reasons Why can be dangerous for teenagers to watch without any support or talking points with an adult. The show is not an accurate portrayal of what happens when a teenager commits suicide. It is a fantasy of an adolescent who is able to speak from the grave though audio recordings and find a way to blame others for her suicide. Though there are other students who are shown bullying Hannah or treating her badly, there is no exploration of the underlying mental health issues that Hannah may be experiencing. Of course, it is an important lesson that we should always treat others with care and kindness because we do not know what they are going through. However, there is nothing romantic, glamorous, or justified about committing suicide. 

13 Reasons Why is not reality. It is a scripted TV show based on imagined events. Though I believe that teenagers have the ability to separate reality from fiction, for a teenager who is experiencing suicidal thoughts and mental health issues, this separation may be more difficult. It is important to treat watching 13 Reasons Why with care for those who may be at risk for suicide. 

If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. We can all help prevent suicide. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals. 1-800-273-8255

​Setting healthy boundaries with our schedule sounds like a wonderful concept. By saying no we open up space our on schedule, avoid being involved with things we don’t really want to do and generally feel more mentally healthy. Boundaries are important because they are the way that we communicate with others what is and is not okay in their interactions with us. Healthy boundaries help us have a sense of control over our lives and our schedules. Boundaries can often keep us from feeling helpless or overwhelmed. 

So how can we say no? For some of us, saying “no” might be something that comes easily and naturally. For others of us, saying “no” might feel completely counter to how we operate. Our first instinct might be to say “yes” and commit to something regardless of whether or not we have the time to do it. 

Here are a few steps for saying no: 

Stop and think when someone asks you to do something. If your first instinct is to always say “yes!” then you need to give yourself time to consider whether or not you can actually commit to something. It is perfectly acceptable to tell someone that you need to check your schedule or you need some time to think about something before you commit. 
Be kind and firm. Saying “no” isn’t a bad thing. You might have to untrain your brain from thinking that it is. Saying “no” is completely acceptable! If someone asks you to do something, asks you to come to an event or even asks you a question that you don’t feel comfortable answering - it is completely okay and healthy to tell that person no. 
Be clear. It can be tempting to be vague when saying no because it feels less harsh. We’ve all said “we will try to make it” when we have absolutely no intention of going to something. However, being clear from the beginning can help from disappointing others or being disingenuous. 

The secret to setting healthy boundaries is practice. Setting boundaries may feel strange and awkward at first. However, with practice we can find clarity and discernment around kind ways that we can set boundaries with others. 

When I start to feel overwhelmed by life the first thing I do is check in with myself on whether or not I am practicing healthy boundaries. Am I saying “yes” too often? Is my calendar completely filled with absolutely no space for anything else? 

Life can be filled with so many wonderful opportunities to say “yes!” to something. We can fill our calendar with good things: coffee with friends, volunteer work, helping a coworker, going to a birthday party. Saying “yes” is easy when saying “no” feels uncomfortable or unkind. Saying “yes!” is easy when we are saying yes to things that are helpful, are fun and are good. 

But are you at the point where you’ve said yes so many times that you feel like you’re drowning in obligation? Are important things - like your health, your relationships, your self-care - being ignored because you’ve filled your calendar with “yes!”? 

There are so many things that I love to do. If I had enough hours in the day I would do absolutely everything that I wish I had time for. But when I fill my calendar with everything I miss out on everything else. 

You can do anything but you can’t do everything. There has to be space on your calendar for margin in your life. Living from activity to activity makes us mindless, simply going from one thing to another. Learning to say “no” can actually help you be more mindful about the things that you chose to do. If you don’t have space for self-care in your calendar then you may be having a hard time setting healthy boundaries. 

Not sure how to set healthy boundaries? Check back for our next blog post where we talk about strategies for saying “no” in a way that is firm but kind. Thank you for reading! 

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​How different would your life feel if you woke up every morning and thought no matter what gets done and how much is left undone today, I am enough” (Brene Brown). What would it be like to engage with life from the point of view that you are worthy regardless of how many check marks are on your to-do list? 

We live in a culture where being busy is prized. A culture where people brag about how little sleep they got or how much they had to work that day. God didn’t design us to be machines that accomplish tasks. God designed us to be his creations, worthy of love and belonging. Worthy of his favor even when things don’t go exactly as planned. 

God does not see us the same way we see ourselves. We look at ourselves and see all of the things that we would like to change. We see the things we wish could be different. God sees as as worthy, as new creations in him (2 Corinthians 5:17). 

So, for today, come just as you are. You don’t have to have everything together. You don’t have to know the answers. Come as you are - for who you are is enough.