Maybe you or someone you care about is on the fence about whether or not to start therapy. You aren’t alone - there are many people who delay starting therapy even though they feel like it could potentially help them. 

Here are some things to consider if you are unsure about therapy: 

It is normal to be nervous
Most people are nervous about the idea of going to therapy for the first time. You aren’t alone! Your therapist will walk you through the process. You can read here more about what to expect from your first therapy session. 

You don't have to commit 
Going to a therapy session doesn’t mean you’re committing to going for any set period of time. You always have the option to not make another appointment. 

Finding the right therapist for you
Finding the right therapist can feel daunting. Ask for recommendations from trusted people in your life or read through therapist bios on their websites. Finding the right therapist for you is possible! And there are many options to choose from. 

Therapy can be part of a bigger picture of what helps you 
Therapy doesn’t have to feel like a one-stop option. Therapy should be holistic and involve many aspects of your life: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual. 

The risk is low 
If you go to therapy and hate it - you aren’t required to go back. You also aren’t required to stay with a therapist who you don’t connect with. The options are almost endless! 

Finances don't have to be a barrier 
The idea of going to therapy can be financially intimidating. You may feel that therapy is not affordable for you. At Bethel Haven (and other non-profits) you can find therapy available on a sliding-scale. This means that your income is taken into account when calculating your cost of therapy. 

Bethel Haven is committed to providing affordable mental health services to everyone. Finances should not determine whether or not you are able to seek help. Call our office at 706.310.9046 to learn more about making an appointment with a Bethel Haven therapist today!

Most of us care about being successful in the things that we do - a difficult conversation, a project at work, raising our kids, or running a half marathon. We all have things that we would like to do and be successful in doing. There is a simple thing you can do that will help you set yourself up to succeed. 

The secret to succeeding is the scale by which you are measuring. The secret to success is determining what you are capable of controlling and opening your hands to the rest. 

This is probably the most common conversation I have in the therapy room. 

Measure your success by your efforts, not by your outcomes. 

Success is setting boundaries in a relationship that has become toxic - not in the way the person responds to those boundaries. You are successful in setting boundaries even if the other person is unhappy about it. 

Success is putting in the hours necessary and double checking the work on our project before we turn it in - not how our boss responds. You are successful in finishing your project well even if there are some changes your boss would like you to make. 

Success is loving and caring for our kids and teaching them all we can, not the decisions they make when they aren’t with us. You are successful in teaching your kids, even if they choose not to follow your lessons. 

Success is in the daily training for the half marathon, not the time it takes to finish. You are successful because you put in the effort and training necessary, not because of a number. 

Don’t measure your success by how others respond to you. You set yourself up for failure when your yardstick for success is an ever moving target of other’s opinions. 

Measure your success by doing the work you need to do to find the inner confidence to know that your effort has been your best. Doing the right thing is the success. Measure your success by your efforts - not by your outcomes. 

It is a very common question - what should I expect from my first meeting with my therapist? It is normal to feel nervous about this first meeting. Every therapist might have a slightly different approach in their pacing of the first session but the basic elements of the first session will be the same. Here are the steps you can expect from your first counseling session (typically called an “intake” session): 

1. There will be intake paperwork to fill out. 
One of the most important parts of the first therapy session, or the intake session, is the opportunity for your therapist to gather information about your history and reasons for seeking help in therapy. This most often begins with you filling out intake paperwork. 

2. You will learn more about your rights as a client, especially your rights to confidentiality. 
At the beginning of any intake session your therapist should explain your rights and limits to confidentiality in a way that you understand and feel comfortable with. This includes explaining confidentiality when the client is a minor. 

3. Your therapist will explore more about your history by asking you questions.
The general categories of questions will be: 

• Reasons for seeking therapy 
• Medical History 
• Mental Health History 
• Family Mental Health History 
• Information about your current job/school, social life, living situation, spirituality, etc. 

The therapist is working to understand more about you and the things in your life that could be contributing to your distress or the positive things in your life that are helping you cope. 

4. Your therapist will help you set treatment goals. 
After spending time exploring and giving you the opportunity to express what you feel is important, you therapist will help you set treatment goals. This way you and the therapist can be on the same page in terms of what you would like to be working on together. 

5. You and the therapist will set your next appointment. 
If you express interest in continuing therapy, you and your therapist will work together to set the next time that you will come in. 

Typically the intake session looks very different than the rest of the therapy sessions. Your therapist will most likely take notes during the intake session and may not continue to take notes during future sessions. The intake session may feel different than future sessions because the focus is typically information gathering with the potential for less focus on emotional processing of events. The intake session enables both you and the therapist to make an informed decision about goals for treatment and what the plan for treatment will look like going forward. 

Note: Intake sessions for minors will typically look different than intake sessions for adults. 

There have been a lot of tragic events happening in the news lately. Some of these events, such as the school shooting in Florida, may be impacting your children more than you know. Children may be consciously or unconsciously dealing with trauma or fear due to these events. How can you help your child process when something like this happens?

1. Validate your child's sadness: 
Your child needs to know that feeling sad is a normal and okay reaction when something sad or scary happens. “What happened is really sad. Let’s talk about what makes you feel sad about what happened.” Too often we try to distract from sadness or make it go away. Allowing your child to experience sadness helps them learn that they can be sad and come out okay on the other side. 

2. Validate your child's fear: 
If your child is feeling fearful after hearing something on the news or at school: “That does sound really scary. I understand why you would feel afraid when you heard about that happening.” Of course we want to comfort children and we don’t want them to live in fear. We also want them to feel heard. We don’t want them to feel like being scared isn’t something they can talk to us about. Being scared isn’t shameful - and in many cases, being scared makes sense. 

3. Be ready for tough questions: 
“Why do bad people do things to hurt other people?” “Why do bad things happen to good people?” These are just some of the many questions a child may have during a tragic event. Decide how you are going to engage with your child when they ask these questions. A simple answer like “I don’t know” may leave your child feeling unheard. If you don’t have a answer to the question your child has, try “I’m not sure, but let’s take some time and talk about this together.” Or “I’m not sure but let’s ask [a moral or spiritual authority].” By taking your child’s questions seriously, you demonstrate to them that you take them seriously and care about what they care about. 

4. Don’t let your child live out of fear: 
Just like being scared is okay, living scared isn’t. Living stressed and scared is tough on the body of anyone - especially a child. High levels of cortisol impact our immune system strength, can cause anger outbursts and other health and behavioral issues. Help your child learn how to find ways to conquer their fear and support them and encourage them as they do brave things. 

5. Know when to seek additional help: 
Sometimes grief, loss or worry can become too much for a child and parents to handle on their own. If after a few weeks you child’s behavior doesn’t return to normal or you fear that their behavior is harmful to themselves, seek outside help. Oftentimes counseling is a great place to start.

​If you or a loved one are interested in the counseling process, please contact us at 706-310-9046. 

The “newness” of the year already feels over, doesn’t it? We are probably back in our old habits, old routines, old ways of thinking. Because the truth of it is - new beginnings feel difficult. At times they feel impossible. We want to change something about ourselves but we feel discouraged. We don’t feel like this is the time to start over. We don’t feel hopeful about something new. 

The Lord desires for us to be refreshed, to be steadfast in him. He does not desire a life for us that feels stale and tired. 

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23 (ESV)

The Lord desires that we keep faith. That we do not lose hope. And that, even as we grow older each day, our inward selves are renewed. The potential for change is always alive in us. 

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 2 Corinthians 4:16 

The Lord desires that beauty comes from even the worst circumstances. That we have gladness instead of mourning. That we praise him instead of giving up. That we are steadfast in our belief. 

To grant to those who mourn in Zion— to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified. Isaiah 61:3 ESV

It is never too late for us. It is never too late for the Lord to do great work in us. Through him, the time for new beginnings has not passed. His time is forever, and always, now. 






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Sometimes changing something about our lives begins with help from someone else. A counselor can be a great resource for someone hoping to make a change. To learn more about the counseling services we offer at Bethel Haven or to make an appointment call us at 706.310.9056.

Children love to play and they don’t need much guidance from us on how to use their imagination, how to play with toys and how to run around outside. Children will engage with each other on the playground with ease and have an intuition that helps them identify what a toy looks like.

It can be a huge deal for a parent to engage in intentional play with your child. Intentional may sound the opposite of what play is supposed to be. As adults we can use intentionality in play to help children develop social skills, learn self control and continue to attach themselves to their parents. 

Intentional play is a little different than simply playing with your child. Intentional play is playing with your child one-on-one. This enables the child to have focused attention from a caregiver through play. Here are some questions to ask yourselves to get started: 

1. How do I play with my child now? 
Take a minute to evaluate how you typically play with your child. Are you engaged in play or distracted? Are you directive in play and worried about your child following the rules? Or are you able to let loose and have fun? It is important to know your own style of play with your child so you can understand how you and your child may interact in play. 
 
2. Am I engaged? 
Intentionally playing with your child won’t be useful or fun if you aren’t able to fully engage with them. Put away your phone, your distractions of the day, and focus on your child. This focus will make them feel connected to you. It will also help you to notice opportunities to help your child learn new skills through play. 

3. What is my goal of intentional play? 
It sounds counterintuitive to have a goal for play with your child. Most of the time the goal is probably simple: have fun engaging with your child. Sometimes you might have another goal that you want to focus on. Have you noticed that your child gets frustrated when they lose? Does your child have difficulty with self control? Play can help with all of those things! 

4. How can I help my child during play? 
Children learn in tactile ways. This is why play is so important for children developmentally. As a parent the most important thing you can do with your child during play is pay attention to them, engage with them and care for them. 

5. What do I do next? 
Take a minute to evaluate after you play with your child. You know your child better than anyone. Does your child’s play seem different than usual? Does it feel like they are able to enjoy themselves around you? Does it feel like they are exhibiting a certain behavior that you may need to pay attention to?

Children communicate so much through their play. If you take the time and pay attention, you might be surprised at what you learn about your child during play time! If you want some practical ways that you can play with your child in an intentional way, check out next week’s post on creative play that encourages self-expression!