Have you ever thought about the truth of the Bible? We can often be hurt by the words or actions of others, even by our own internal dialogue. But the truth of God’s word is this: God loves you no matter what. Sometimes, even the words “He died for you” can sound cliche’. We can get so deep into our own struggles that we can’t hear the truth. The truth is Jesus was chosen over an assassin to be crucified. So, we no longer have to live in fear, worry, anxiety, or doubt.


If you’ve been hurt by words the world says about you, remember that internal power within you to fight back. The truth of God’s word is the opposite of what the world tells us or even what we sometimes tell ourselves. Our own internal dialogue can be brutal. During a recent episode of the “The Chosen” (a series about the early followers of Jesus), the people who were following Jesus were having a meal together. During that meal, they were talking about all the struggles and opposition they had faced since they began following Jesus. They accused one of the women at the dinner of just being kind and good around Jesus. Her reply was spot on. She said, “I can’t be kind FOR Jesus, I have to be WITH Jesus to be kind.” Her response is profoundly true for all of us. Without Jesus, any one of us can fall prey to the patterns of this world. Anyone of us at any time can be a mess without Jesus. But, WITH Jesus, all of us have the power to stand against guilt, shame, insecurity, fear, and doubt. When we stop believing the lies of this world, they no longer have any power over us. We have the ability to choose who we listen to. Who are you listening to?


Trusting the truth of God’s love for us is the first step. If you are looking for someone to help you walk through life, talking to a counselor may be an important step in your journey.


A thief has only one thing in mind-he wants to steal, slaughter, and destroy. But I have come to give you everything in abundance, more than you expect-life in its fullness until you overflow. John 10:10 The Passion Translation

Have you ever gotten anxious, scared, or stressed about something and noticed that your heart rate has gone up? That’s a natural response that our bodies have to stressful or frightening situations. By increasing your heart rate, your body is preparing for “fight or flight,” the urge to fight back or run away from the scary stimulus. Your heart pumps more oxygenated blood to the rest of your body to prepare for action. 

Unfortunately, our bodies can’t distinguish between the stress of being attacked by a bear and the stress of giving a presentation, and we experience the same kind of response in both situations. Your body prepares for fight or flight even in events that don’t require that kind of response, and that’s part of why anxiety can be so frustrating. 

When your brain sends the signal to your body that you are in danger, whether it’s physical danger or just the danger of being in an uncomfortable situation, our bodies respond by increasing both our heart rate and our breathing rate. However, something you may not know is that the connection goes both ways and we can get our body to send signals back to our brain, as well. 

There’s a good reason why we’re often told to take deep breaths when we are anxious or upset. In the same way that our heart rate increases when we take quick, shallow breaths, we can decrease our heart rate by taking slow, deep breaths. When our breathing slows and our heart rate slows, this sends a signal back to our brain that we are not in danger and it allows us to calm down both physically and mentally.

There are many different methods for deep breathing, but my personal favorite is the 4-7-8 method. You inhale for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 7 seconds, and exhale for 8 seconds, and repeat multiple times. The important part is that you are exhaling for longer than you are inhaling. This is because when we inhale, we are taking new oxygen into our bodies that our heart wants to get out into our bloodstream, thus quickening our heart rate. When we exhale, our heart rate slows, so repeatedly exhaling longer than inhaling slows your heart rate overall.

Take a moment to try this out right now. Take note of how you are feeling before you begin. Then, repeat the 4-7-8 cycle at least five times. Finally, take note of how you feel after you have completed the deep breathing exercise. What differences do you notice? When I practice this, I often notice that both my body and brain feel calmer. 

By practicing this deep breathing, you are sending a signal back to your brain that you are safe and you don’t need to access your “fight or flight mode.” This can bring you back to a calmer state where you feel more capable of handling the task in front of you. The most effective way to use this technique is to practice it regularly, multiple times a day, even when you aren’t feeling anxious or scared. This practice will make it easier to call upon the exercise when you find that you are in need of it! 

If you’d like, take a moment to comment and tell us how you felt after practicing this exercise and how you feel it could be useful for you!

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We live in a world where it is common to want what other people have. “If I just had this or that, then I would be happy.” True happiness comes from being content with where we are in life and what we already have, both the tangible and the intangible. Christine Caine calls this our “life-print.” In her book, Unshakeable, she talks about how God made each of us unique for a reason:


“It is no coincidence God gave each of us a distinct set of markings unique to every person: our fingerprints. I believe this is one of the ways God reminds us that each of us is an original, unique person with a unique purpose. Psalm 139 says:


‘You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; you know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, the days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day.’ (V.14-16 The Message)


I love that! Just as God gave us fingerprints, He prepared for each of us a “life-print” that is completely our own. Sadly, many women never truly discover there’s a divine ‘life-print’ for them because they’re too busy trying to fit into someone else’s. If you feel the urge to become a carbon copy of the wonderful women you see around you, let me remind you: she’s got her life-print, and you’ve got yours. Yours was made for you! So seek God for your purpose, and accept it-because you were “marvelously made.”


Men, as well as women, have their own life prints. Discovering and growing into that life print is a beautiful process, one that counseling can help you with.


“Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration-what a creation!”
Psalm 139:13 The Message

You've heard us say it before - the holidays can be stressful and taxing on your mental health! We've got some quick tips for you that may help you enjoy the season a little more...

Recharge - Take care of your physical health. Drink water, move your body, eat enjoyable and nutritious foods, stretch - whatever self-care looks like for you, do it!

Unplug - Let's be real, social media is often a breeding ground for comparison. Are you finding it difficult to see other people's "perfect" holiday pictures, Christmas decor, etc. without comparing yourself/your life to theirs? It may be time to unplug and notice the good things you have going on around you.

Retreat - When possible, take some time to be alone or just with your close loved ones (this one may not be too hard this year with social distancing and all...). Be intentional to slow down and be still. Read a book, listen to music, enjoy some coffee. But be still. 

Give - You may have read that and thought - "Give? I'm already giving a lot this season!" We're not talking about the kind of giving where you buy presents and give them. We're also not talking about the kind of giving where you give of yourself (time, service, energy) to others. We're talking about 1 Peter 5:7 kind of giving...

Give your worries, your fears, your pain, your disappointment, your stress, whatever is weighing you down to the Lord. Choose to trust Him with it this holiday season.

And of course, if you find yourself needing extra support, Bethel Haven is here for you! Sometimes life feels like it's too much to handle on our own. Our professional counselors are trained to help you walk through tough seasons toward hope and healing. To learn more, give us a call at (706) 310-9046!

As the holidays are upon us, it is important to acknowledge that while many enjoy this festive season, it comes with heavy burdens for many others. There are a number of different reasons why the holidays are challenging for many people. 

For some, it might feel like there’s a lot of pressure to perform this month. You have to get the perfect gift, cook the perfect meal, and find the perfect tree. Depending on where you work, your job responsibilities may intensify this time of year. These things can be overwhelming on top of the day-to-day stresses we experience.

For others, the holidays may bring up memories of loved ones that have been lost. Grief can show up more strongly during the holiday season as it is typically a time spent with family and friends. The loss can feel stronger than it does at other times of the year because the traditions we participate in are often associated with those we care about and can be painful reminders that they are no longer with us. 

Other people hate the holidays because they are estranged from their families. Many have been rejected by family or friends due to their beliefs or their identities, and having “family togetherness” rubbed in their face can sting.

Another reason why the holidays may be challenging is that seasonal depression can begin to kick-in about this time. Temperatures decrease, the sun shows itself less frequently, and we begin to feel less connected. 

On top of these reasons the holidays are hard, the global COVID-19 pandemic presents a unique challenge in that it prevents us from being in close proximity with the family and friends with whom we would typically be gathering. A different kind of grief may be occurring here, one that tells us we shouldn’t still be in this situation, that the pandemic shouldn’t still be affecting us. But it is, and we make sacrifices out of caution and care for ourselves and our loved ones.  

If the holidays are difficult for you, for whatever reason, I would hope you know that you are not alone. Your grief, sadness, and hurt are all valid and you do not have to fake it. You are not a “Grinch” or a “Scrooge” for having a hard time right now. You are allowed to interact with the holiday season in the way that is healthiest for you. 

You don’t have to make any changes if you don’t want to, but if you’re looking for suggestions for how to approach the holidays, setting boundaries with yourself and others is a good place to start. This may look like saying no to gatherings of people. It may look to stepping back from the responsibility of cooking the Christmas meal. Take some time to think about what is important for you in the coming weeks and what you might need to get there.

When it comes to grief, finding a way to honor what was lost can help with the healing process. You can light a candle in memory, or set an extra place setting at the table for those who won’t be with you. 

Finally, if you need support this season, reach out for it. Find the people in your life you can openly discuss your struggles with and let them in. You may find that there are more people having a hard time right now than you think. 

For more information and suggestions check out the following link: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lifetime-connections/201912/not-everyone-enjoys-the-holidays 

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​Now that you’ve read about some of the basics, here are some ways to help or get involved. If you are worried that someone you know might be experiencing suicidal thoughts, there are some things you can look out for. The following list, taken from Suicide Awareness Voices of Education, can be warning signs of suicide: 

• Talking about wanting to die or to kill oneself;
• Looking for a way to kill oneself;
• Talking about feeling hopeless or having no purpose;
• Talking about feeling trapped or being in unbearable pain;
• Talking about being a burden to others;
• Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs;
• Acting anxious, agitated, or reckless;
• Sleeping too little or too much;
• Withdrawing or feeling isolated;
• Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge; and
• Displaying extreme mood swings.

If you notice someone you love showing some of those warning signs, you might become worried and wonder what to do. The Suicide Prevention Lifeline has some suggestions to help. Let’s talk about these:

• Ask: Start by asking if they are experiencing any suicidal thoughts or desires. There is a common misconception that if we talk about suicide, that will put the idea in someone’s head and then they will be more likely to hurt themselves. Research tells us that this is not the case! When you are able to acknowledge directly that someone is in pain, there is often a sense of relief in that person that someone cares enough to ask. 
  
  Yes, this is a challenging topic, and when we are uncomfortable, we tend to shy away from words like ““suicide,” “killing yourself,” and “self-harm.” When we are visibly uncomfortable with those things, it sends a signal to the person that is experiencing suicidality that those aren’t okay topics to discuss, which leads them to close off and fear reaching out for help.
  
  When asking someone about their suicidal thoughts, it is best to be as direct as possible and to seek specific answers. Asking questions such as “Have you been experiencing thoughts of suicide recently? To what extent? Do you have a plan?” etc. can be much more helpful than a generic “How have you been doing?” which can easily be brushed off with a “fine” or “okay.” The direct questions signal to someone that you are a safe person to talk to about these things, you won’t freak out if they mention those words, and are more difficult to avoid answering directly.
  
  
  
• Be there: Once you ask someone if they are experiencing suicidal thoughts, and they say yes, this is the time for you to step up. 
  
  There are many ways to “be there” for someone. It can be helpful to ask, “Is there anything I can do for you?”, but sometimes, a suicidal individual does not have the mental or emotional energy to figure out what might be helpful. Instead, provide suggestions and see if any of them stick. For example, you might say something like: “Thank you for sharing that with me, I know it’s not easy to talk about. I would like to do something to support you while you’re dealing with this. Would you like it if I sat with you for a little bit, or spent the night so you aren’t alone? Or maybe I can make a point to call you every night this week just to check in. I can also pick up some dinner for you on the way home from work tomorrow and we can eat together or I can just drop it off so you can have some alone time. Do any of those sound like they would be helpful?”
  
  Often, people who are experiencing suicidal thoughts believe that they are a burden to everyone in their lives and that their loved ones would be better off without them. When you are expressing your desire to support them, make sure you emphasize that you don’t think they are a burden, that they are important to you, and that you actually want to help them, not that you feel you have to.
  
  
  
• Keep them safe: When you ask someone if they are experiencing suicidal thoughts and they say yes, there are some important follow up questions you can ask. One, you can ask them if they have a plan. If they say yes, ask what it is. Then, you can determine whether they have access to that plan. For example, if your friend tells you that they have a plan and they are going to take their roommate’s pain pills, you can now work with the roommate to find a safe hiding place for their pills so that your friend no longer has access to those pills. As expressed on the Suicide Prevention Lifeline Website, “A number of studies have indicated that when lethal means are made less available or less deadly, suicide rates by that method decline, and frequently suicide rates overall decline.”

If someone expresses that they are actively suicidal (meaning that they tell you they have a plan, they have access to the means to carry out that plan, and they have the intent to carry out that plan), it might be time to seek professional help. Offer to sit with them while calling the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or in the state of Georgia, you can call the Georgia Crisis and Access Line at 1-800-715-4225. If more immediate assistance is needed, call Emergency Medical Services and stay with the individual until help arrives. 

See the end of this post for a more detailed list of suicide crisis lines.

• Help them connect: As mentioned earlier, one of the warning signs of suicidality is withdrawing and self-isolation. This can be an effect of not having enough social energy or because one feels their friends don’t actually want to spend time with them. By coming to them, you can ease the amount of energy the individual has to expend, but you also are letting them know you want to spend time with them. Help connect the individual to their support system, and if they don’t have one, assist them in building it. Bring them out with you, help them get involved in local religious organizations, connect with co-workers, or even offer to take them to a therapist.
•  
• Follow up: Don’t let your care end when the crisis ends. Continue to reach out to the individual who shared their suicidal thoughts with you. Your continued effort and connection can make a huge difference for someone who can easily get trapped within their depression. By setting up a habit of checking in, you are continuing to show your love for that person and can help them get support again if they need it, before they reach the same level of crisis as before. 

As you are working to care for someone in such deep pain, make sure that you are also being taken care of. Crises are challenging for both those experiencing the crisis as well as those supporting the individual experiencing the crisis. By taking care of yourself, you are able to have the time and energy to devote to your loved ones to show them you care and want them around.

Below is a more comprehensive list of national suicide crisis lines (taken from this Wikipedia page):

• 911 is the national emergency number in the United States.
• The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline         (http://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/) is a 24-hour, toll-free, confidential suicide prevention hotline available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress.[42][43] It provides Spanish-speaking counselors, as well as options for deaf and hard of hearing individuals. It is only available in the United States.[44] A 24-hour an Online Chat in partnership with Contact USA[45] is also available.
  • The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline can be reached at 1-800-273-8255, and in 2019, the use of 988 was approved.[46][47]
  • The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (ESP) can be reached at 1-888-628-9454
  • The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (Deaf & Hard of Hearing Options) can be reached at 1-800-799-4889
• The Veterans Crisis Line (https://www.veteranscrisisline.net/) is a 24-hour, toll-free hotline that provides phone, webchat, and text options available to military veterans and their families. It provides options for deaf and hard of hearing individuals.
  • The Veterans Crisis Line can be reached at 1-800-273-8255, followed by Pressing 1.
• IMAlive Crisis Chatine (www.imalive.org) is a non-profit, worldwide 24/7, anonymous chatline to help anyone in crisis via instant messaging.
• The Crisis Text Line (crisistextline.org) is the only 24/7, nationwide crisis-intervention text-message hotline.[48]
  • The Crisis Text Line can be reached by texting HOME to 741-741.
• Samaritans USA (http://www.samaritansusa.org/) is a registered charity aimed at providing emotional support to anyone in distress or at risk of suicide throughout the United States.[9]
• The Trevor Project (http://www.thetrevorproject.org/) is a nationwide organization that provides a 24-hour phone hotline, as well as limited-hour webchat and text options, for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth.[49]
  • The TrevorLifeline can be reached at 1-866-488-7386.
  • TrevorChat can be found at https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help-now/ (available 7 days a week from 3PM to 10PM ET).
  • TrevorText can be reached by texting TREVOR to 1-202-304-1200 (available M-F from 3PM to 10PM ET).
• The Trans Lifeline (https://www.translifeline.org/) is a nonprofit organization that is created by and for the transgender community, providing crisis intervention hotlines, staffed by transgender individuals, available in the United States and Canada.
  • The Trans Lifeline can be reached at 1-877-565-8860.[21]

To sum this up - at Bethel Haven we look at our clients through a holistic lens. We believe (along with many in the mental health profession) that mental health cannot be separated from other parts of an individual. The biological, social, psychological, and spiritual parts of us are all interconnected and therefore they impact one another. We believe that ignoring this important concept would be a disservice to our clients! 
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So what do we mean when we say that we consider all of these factors when working with clients? Well, from the very beginning of therapy, we like to assess functioning in each of these areas. Our therapists ask questions like:

Is there a history of mental illness in your family? (Biological)
How would you describe your friendships? (Social)
What are your strengths? Your weaknesses? (Psychological)
Do you have spiritual and/or religious beliefs? If so, what does this look like in your life? (Spiritual)
Describe your marriage. (Social)
Do you have any medical problems? (Biological)
How would you describe yourself? (Psychological)

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Looking at each of these parts of our clients helps us see our clients concerns in a more comprehensive way and aids us in planning treatment. We want to serve every client well and this approach helps us ensure we are giving our community the highest level of care. Have you been considering therapy? Give us a call to see if Bethel Haven is a good fit for you!