What is it that causes dissatisfaction in relationships? We get frustrated when people don’t meet our needs. We want to be known by those we are close to and we hope that they will figure out what we want them to do.
The secret is something you already know - people can’t read your mind. We have a saying in my family: “state your preference.” What that means is that if you want something, you have to tell the other person - whether that means picking a restaurant, deciding what to do on a Friday night, or even just needing some encouragement or space.
It can be hard to share your needs with others. This creates vulnerability - what if you share a need and the person rejects it? What if you ask for something and the person says no? We don’t get our needs met because we are afraid - maybe afraid of upsetting someone or afraid of causing conflict.
The secret to getting your needs met is having your needs be known. Learning to push past fear in relationships to express need. The other side of your relationship wants to connect. Help foster connection through both expressing your own need and encouraging others to express theirs.
Do you have trouble expressing your needs to loved ones? Our counselors at Bethel Haven can help you learn how. Call 706.310.9046 now to make an appointment with one of our counselors.
Dear college student,
Something happens post-college that makes some adults forget the hard parts about college and only remember the good.
Life has gotten harder for you, college student, in the nine years since I was a college freshman. The pressures are bigger than they've ever been to be successful, to pick the right major, to rush the right sorority.
We ask so much of you - make friends, fit in, made good grades, exercise and stay healthy, volunteer, do extracurriculars - run the race with blisters on your heels until they crack - until you crack under the pressure - until you want to fall down, exhausted.
Falling down doesn't feel like an option, does it?
Only perfection does.
Do all of these things with the hope - not promise - of a future where you have a great job that you love, that fulfills your life purpose, and also pays the bills.
And if you don’t get that job it will feel like it is because you did something wrong, not because society is broken and stacked against you.
Do all of these things with what seems like no real support - no one telling you to ask for help, no one encouraging you to treasure your mental health.
Do all of these things while the world looks down on you for being young, for being untried, for being immature.
Sweet student, there are those in this world who are for you.
Perhaps it is your parents, your neighbor, your counselor, your church community. Find those people and hold them close. Don’t let depression or anxiety overwhelm you. Life is hard but you don't have to walk it alone. Find community. Open up. Talk about it.
You are the generation who stands up for what you believe in. Who seeks justice and scorns inequality. You are the generation who is smarter, works harder and, yes, edits Instagram photos better than we could ever hope to do. You have an intuition about trends and disrupting the status quo.
You are seen and you are loved.
Be kind to each other and be kind to yourselves.
Do not be discouraged.
We see you.
We believe in you.
If you are interested in making an appointment with one of our counselors at Bethel Haven, please call us at 706.310.9046 to schedule an appointment.
answer, write, share, - develop, learn, grow
When is the last time I felt -
When is the last time I -
In what areas do I feel -
Final thoughts -
How could you use the answers to some or all of these prompts to develop, grow and/or learn?
Written by our counselors to help promote your help, hope, healing