When I start to feel overwhelmed by life the first thing I do is check in with myself on whether or not I am practicing healthy boundaries. Am I saying “yes” too often? Is my calendar completely filled with absolutely no space for anything else?
Life can be filled with so many wonderful opportunities to say “yes!” to something. We can fill our calendar with good things: coffee with friends, volunteer work, helping a coworker, going to a birthday party. Saying “yes” is easy when saying “no” feels uncomfortable or unkind. Saying “yes!” is easy when we are saying yes to things that are helpful, are fun and are good.
But are you at the point where you’ve said yes so many times that you feel like you’re drowning in obligation? Are important things - like your health, your relationships, your self-care - being ignored because you’ve filled your calendar with “yes!”?
There are so many things that I love to do. If I had enough hours in the day I would do absolutely everything that I wish I had time for. But when I fill my calendar with everything I miss out on everything else.
You can do anything but you can’t do everything. There has to be space on your calendar for margin in your life. Living from activity to activity makes us mindless, simply going from one thing to another. Learning to say “no” can actually help you be more mindful about the things that you chose to do. If you don’t have space for self-care in your calendar then you may be having a hard time setting healthy boundaries.
Not sure how to set healthy boundaries? Check back for our next blog post where we talk about strategies for saying “no” in a way that is firm but kind. Thank you for reading!
Written by our counselors to help promote your help, hope, healing