The secret to succeeding is the scale by which you are measuring. The secret to success is determining what you are capable of controlling and opening your hands to the rest.
This is probably the most common conversation I have in the therapy room.
Measure your success by your efforts, not by your outcomes.
Success is setting boundaries in a relationship that has become toxic - not in the way the person responds to those boundaries. You are successful in setting boundaries even if the other person is unhappy about it.
Success is putting in the hours necessary and double checking the work on our project before we turn it in - not how our boss responds. You are successful in finishing your project well even if there are some changes your boss would like you to make.
Success is loving and caring for our kids and teaching them all we can, not the decisions they make when they aren’t with us. You are successful in teaching your kids, even if they choose not to follow your lessons.
Success is in the daily training for the half marathon, not the time it takes to finish. You are successful because you put in the effort and training necessary, not because of a number.
Don’t measure your success by how others respond to you. You set yourself up for failure when your yardstick for success is an ever moving target of other’s opinions.
Measure your success by doing the work you need to do to find the inner confidence to know that your effort has been your best. Doing the right thing is the success. Measure your success by your efforts - not by your outcomes.