Lusting After Others

Cindy Robbins, LPC

Leaving Addictions in the Past – Saying Goodbye to Lust and Hello to Freedom  
If you’re reading this, you most likely have been impacted by lust in your own heart or impacted by it in a relationship with another.  According to PornHub’s annual year-in-review statement, the United States was the leading country with a self-admitted addiction to pornography.   Although sadly, only 14% of Americans in the study reported they believed porn use is wrong.  As counselor who works with couples as well as individual adults, I can assure the damage done by porn cuts deeper than people want to admit.  

Even if you think pornography use is innocent, normal, or even helpful, I want you to think more long-term.  Fantasy creates a dangerous expectation that in turn creates a disappointing reality.  This is true for things in the related field, such as daydreaming about another person in a sexual context, reading exotic novels, as well as the more obvious version of being actively involved in an affair or relationship that is promiscuous and based upon physical attraction or touch.  

​The truth is that real connection is difficult and complicated.  Human beings have physical desires and intimate reactions when something stimulates us, but emotionally we all seek love and belonging which only real connection can provide.  When we seek these desires, even unknowingly, in fantasied or secret relationships, we end up realizing it’s a smoke screen – something that seems real yet we discover it’s shallow and doesn’t satisfy. This is where addiction begins – when something doesn’t satisfy and needs more consumption to combat the lie that next time it will meet our needs.  Instead, leave behind your past habits in 2024.  Put in the hard work to find an accountability partner/friend that shares your goals and seek to repair and engage in real, committed relationships based upon mutual respect.  ​