Let's Talk Self-Regulation (Part Two)

Let’s talk more about self-regulation! Why, you ask? Because self-regulation is KEY in living with intention and purpose, and I’d almost guarantee that most of us want to live intentional and purposeful lives. In the last post, we defined self-regulation and talked about why it’s important, and this week we are going to put some self-regulation strategies into practice! If you missed last week’s post, scroll down and give it a read before moving on.

When we talk about self-regulation, many people think that we’re talking about relaxation. However, we can’t just think about self-regulation as mere relaxation. Dr. Eric Gentry, one of the world’s leading experts in post-traumatic stress states, “Self-regulation is relaxation, but relaxation is rarely self-regulation.” In other words, relaxation is only a part of self-regulation.

Don’t get me wrong - deep relaxation is wonderful and has great health benefits! But, if you are in the middle of a stressful meeting at work or you are cleaning up the Cheerios your toddler has thrown all of the kitchen (for the fourth time in the last hour), there’s not an opportunity for you to go take a long relaxing bath, get a massage, or do an hour of yoga. The good news is… There are strategies that you can use (that take as little as 30 seconds to regulate your body and mind while you are fully engaged in your everyday activities. 

Before I give you the practical strategies, it is important to keep in mind the two components of self-regulation:

1. Body awareness - This involves you scanning your body, noticing if you feel any signs of stress (muscle tension, tight jaw, gastrointestinal distress, increased heart rate, etc.). Basically, you are paying attention to your body, so that you know when you are dysregulated.
2. Acute relaxation - This is the action you take based on what you notice in your body. Now, let’s talk about some practical strategies!

There are many ways to practice the acute relaxation component of self-regulation, and as Dr. Gentry puts it, “The right way is your way.” The overall goal that you are trying to achieve is muscle relaxation. If you are in a relaxed body, you restore regulation and regain optimal brain functioning. Here are two quick self-regulation strategies that you can incorporate in your life today:

1. Wet noodle - Intentionally squeeze your muscles tightly, then let the tension go so that your limbs feel like wet noodles. This can be practiced when you are seated, for example while sitting in traffic or at your desk. You can do this with your whole body at one time, or you can break it up and start with one area of the body before moving on to another. For example, squeeze your feet then relax them. Next, squeeze your legs and relax them. And so on until you've relaxed your entire body.
2. Diaphragmatic breathing (A.K.A. belly breathing) - Deep, intentional breathing is a great way to self-regulate. Deep breath signals to the body that it can return to the “rest and digest” mode (instead of “fight, flight, or freeze”). One way to practice this is to place one hand on your stomach and the other on your chest. As you breathe in, push the air to where your lower hand is (pushing your belly out) rather than sending the air to your top hand that’s on your chest. Make both your inhale and exhale slow and intentional, exhaling slightly longer than your inhale. Diaphragmatic breathing might feel uncomfortable and unfamiliar at first, because most of us breathe short, shallow breaths throughout our day. However, with practice, it will become more natural. 

If you are looking for more guidance and support in the area of stress management and self-regulation, therapy might be a good option for you. Our therapists are not only trained in helping you find practical ways to manage stress, but also in helping you find the hope and healing that you may be needing. If you’re considering beginning therapy, give us a call today. We would love to help you find the right therapist for you and your needs. 

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