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Karis Austin, Grad Intern Nurturing Your Emotional Well-Being: The Heart of Self-Care
In the fast pace of daily life, emotional self-care often takes a backseat. Yet, it's one of the most vital aspects of our overall well-being. Emotional self-care means giving yourself permission to feel, process, and express your emotions in a healthy way. It might look like setting boundaries with people who drain you, taking time to journal your thoughts, or talking to a trusted friend or therapist. It’s also about being kind to yourself—recognizing that your feelings are valid and deserve attention, not judgment. Here are some simple yet powerful emotional self-care practices:
Remember: when you care for your emotional health, you strengthen your ability to show up fully—for yourself and for others.
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Allison Mauldin, Grad Student What Comes First… the Chicken or the Egg?
Most everyone is familiar with the age-old question of what comes first… the chicken or the egg. However, the same question could be asked of physical and emotional care. So, what aspect is most important? They tend to go hand in hand, overlapping, with it being difficult to distinguish where one begins and the other ends. Many benefits exist for both types of care. In fact, I imagine you can rattle off at least five physical benefits off the top of your head right now. Benefits such as decreased risks of chronic diseases later on in life, increased energy and less fatigue, strengthening your muscles, taking preventative strides, such as doctors’ visits, proper sleep, rest, and nutrition more than likely made your list. Additionally, greater quality of life overall and enhanced mental health, such as decreasing depressive and anxiety symptoms, may result from engaging in physical endeavors. So, if we instinctively know that the advantages are ready and waiting for us, why do we sometimes internally struggle with taking care of ourselves, or place our health on the back burner? Why do New Year’s resolutions often fall by the wayside by the end of the first month? Reasons vary from a simple lack of time to a lack of prioritizing and setting specific goals, from a lack of motivation to self-sabotage, or from underlying feelings of inadequacy to low self-worth. Whatever the reasoning, how can we implement positive changes towards our physical health? One suggestion is to brainstorm and write SMART goals where the goals set are: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound (University of California, 2017). Check out the University of California’s how to guide at https://www.ucop.edu/local-human-resources/_files/performance-appraisal/How+to+write+SMART+Goals+v2.pdf. The beauty of SMART goals is that they can apply to any goals in your life, not just enhancing your physical health. Or if you need to investigate more underlying reasons which are preventing you from taking care of yourself physically, you can explore a CBT technique called the Downward Arrow Technique video here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qr7hS-mNhEY (The Psych Diaries, 2024), where a clinical psychologist from Sydney, Australia provides tools to help uncover core beliefs or fears that may be holding you back. Thus, does it really matter if the chicken or the egg comes first? Rather, given our present discussion, does it matter if emotional or physical care is more important to our well-being, as long as we approach both from a growth mindset, intent on improving our overall health? In the words of famous actor Bill Murray in What About Bob, be “smart” and “baby step” your way to success. Ashlyn LaClair, Grad Intern “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” - Matthew 11:28-30 MSG
In a fast paced world, taking care of your spiritual health is just as important as caring for your physical and emotional health. Luckily, as believers in Jesus Christ, we have a Perfect Model of spiritual well-being. We are invited not only to believe in Him as our personal Savior, but also to follow in His perfect unforced rhythms of grace. As Matthew 11:28-30 reminds us, Jesus is a better way of life and shows us exactly how to live it. Spiritual self-care is not about rigid routine and religious obligation, but about learning to walk with Christ in a life-giving way. Follow Christ and He’ll show you the way. Outlined below are some spiritual self-care practices of our Savior Himself. But remember that the best spiritual self-care is not about striving harder but drawing closer to Jesus. A. Solitude and Prayer
B. Sabbath and Rest
C. Scripture and Reflection
F. Serving Others
G. Surrender and Trust
The key to spiritual self-care is fostering a deep, intimate relationship with God and learning to walk in the unforced rhythms of grace, as Jesus did. He will show you real rest. Watch Him and learn. His invitation is yours. Karis Austin, Grad Intern Let’s talk about self-care. You know, the essential practices you recognize you should be doing, but often feel too busy to manage or aren't sure how to implement. When we think of self-care, most people consider physical aspects such as sleep, nutrition, and exercise. Sleep, nutrition, hydration, and exercise form the cornerstones of well-being. Alongside these essentials, occasionally treating yourself is also significant. In the Parks and Recreation episode “Treat Yo Self,” Donna Meagle and Tom Haverford emphasize the importance of self-pampering as they take the audience through a day of indulgence that includes shopping for clothes and receiving massages.
Sleep rejuvenates both our minds and bodies. Numerous processes, such as cell regeneration and digestion, occur during our rest. Insufficient sleep hampers these vital functions and can have adverse effects. Studies suggest that children require 9-12 hours of sleep, adolescents need 8-10 hours, and adults should target over 7 hours per night (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 2022). Allowing your mind and body adequate rest empowers you to lead the life you aspire to. Moreover, establishing and adhering to a sleep routine can enhance both the quantity and quality of your sleep. Food and water serve as fuel to keep our engines operational. Consuming processed foods, sugars, and unhealthy items may lead to dysregulation. Well-balanced meals that consist of fruits, vegetables, proteins, and healthy carbohydrates supply essential minerals and vitamins, including B, C, and D. These nutrients support the proper functioning of both the mind and body. Hydration is crucial for overall wellness as well. Dehydration can adversely impact mood and cognition (Nauert, 2012). It’s advisable to drink over 2 liters of water daily to ensure the body functions optimally. Humans are not designed to be stagnant. Our bodies thrive on movement, whether through a vigorous workout or a leisurely stroll. Research indicates that adults should participate in at least 150 minutes of moderate exercise each week (Laskowski, 2023). Traditional forms of exercise, such as going to the gym, running, cycling, and attending workout classes, are excellent choices. Additionally, alternative activities like Pilates, yoga, dancing, and walking are also important. How can you assess if you are physically caring for your body? Awareness of your physical state is crucial for recognizing areas you might be neglecting. Being attuned to your body enables you to identify its needs. One effective way to foster this awareness is through a body scan—beginning at your toes and moving upwards to your head, paying attention to the sensations in each area. Do you feel any tension? Be mindful of areas that feel heavy or tight and consider strategies to relieve this discomfort. Do you need to take a walk? When was the last time you ate? How much sleep have you been getting? All these activities are essential for maintaining high levels of functioning, but it’s equally important to indulge in self-care. Regular massages, intentional grooming, and baths are wonderful methods to care for your body. Getting your nails done, napping, spending time in nature, and scheduling routine medical appointments are also vital practices for maintaining physical well-being. Remember to “treat yo self” occasionally! Edward R. Laskowski, M. D. (2023, July 26). How much exercise do you really need?. Mayo Clinic. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/fitness/expert-answers/exercise/faq-20057916#:~:text=Get%20at%20least%20150%20minutes,or%20more%20in%20a%20week. Rick Nauert, P. (2012, February 20). Dehydration influences mood, cognition. Psych Central. https://psychcentral.com/news/2012/02/20/dehydration-influences-mood-cognition#1 U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. (2022, March 24). Why is sleep important?. National Heart Lung and Blood Institute. https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/sleep/why-sleep-important Madison Drake, APC What is burnout? If you are reading this, you or someone you know may have a problem with saying “yes” too often. Burnout can be defined as a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion that is caused by prolonged stress. Feeling drained or being unable to focus on the task at hand because of the mile long list of all that you have to complete today can be a sign of burnout. Being intentional and slowing down are simple things to say, but they will truly help the weariness that comes with each new task on the list. With being intentional, the “list of things that must get done” will begin to shorten, leaving more time to rest and restore. In the fast-paced world we live in, it is almost expected to experience burnout. We work everyday, we drive everywhere, we are expected to live up to this expectation of “human” that society has given us; but what we miss out on is the in between, the things that truly matter.
With prolonged stress comes an unhealthy lifestyle. Our bodies can survive with a healthy amount of stress, but when this quickness becomes the everyday speed, it can do more harm than good. The immune system begins to weaken, blood pressure spikes, anxiety is constant, or there is a lack of physical rest. Stress creates excessive amounts of cortisol which can lead to mood disorders, weight gain and even a stroke. This is not written to scare you, it is written to get your attention. There was a time where I, like you, have experienced burnout. It was not a one time thing, but it was bad enough to get my attention to where I am now able to catch it before it gets bad. I had a conversation with a friend and compared my life to a thanksgiving plate. I piled up the work hours, my serving at church, the time spent in the car and the filler, everyday tasks like cleaning and taking care of my body. There were so many places I agreed to be at one time, the hypothetical plate got so full that I began to notice there was not enough room for me in my own life. Thankfully, I learned the word “no”. In the book, The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer, (which you will see in our posts this month!) there is an invitation to take the call of Jesus in Matthew 11 seriously. To follow Him, find rest, and take up the “easy yoke”. The writer gives examples of what burnout looked like in his own life, and how he, with the help of scripture and good community, was able to slow down and experience life as it was intended to be lived. By practicing a Sabbath and living in simplicity, Comer shows the way that we can pick up the “easy yoke” offered to us by Jesus, and live a life that is full. Burnout is not the enemy, and it can be avoided. The way we approach life is how we can begin to notice if burnout exists. Feeling exhausted from work or life in general can steal our joy, ultimately leaving us worn out and unable to do good work. Let this be your reminder that your worth is not found in a completed to-do list. If you are ever questioning your worth or how to live a life that is full, reach out to one of our counselors and let us help you create the balance you have been searching for. Cindy Robbins, LPC Leaving Addictions in the Past – Saying Goodbye to Lust and Hello to Freedom
If you’re reading this, you most likely have been impacted by lust in your own heart or impacted by it in a relationship with another. According to PornHub’s annual year-in-review statement, the United States was the leading country with a self-admitted addiction to pornography. Although sadly, only 14% of Americans in the study reported they believed porn use is wrong. As counselor who works with couples as well as individual adults, I can assure the damage done by porn cuts deeper than people want to admit. Even if you think pornography use is innocent, normal, or even helpful, I want you to think more long-term. Fantasy creates a dangerous expectation that in turn creates a disappointing reality. This is true for things in the related field, such as daydreaming about another person in a sexual context, reading exotic novels, as well as the more obvious version of being actively involved in an affair or relationship that is promiscuous and based upon physical attraction or touch. The truth is that real connection is difficult and complicated. Human beings have physical desires and intimate reactions when something stimulates us, but emotionally we all seek love and belonging which only real connection can provide. When we seek these desires, even unknowingly, in fantasied or secret relationships, we end up realizing it’s a smoke screen – something that seems real yet we discover it’s shallow and doesn’t satisfy. This is where addiction begins – when something doesn’t satisfy and needs more consumption to combat the lie that next time it will meet our needs. Instead, leave behind your past habits in 2024. Put in the hard work to find an accountability partner/friend that shares your goals and seek to repair and engage in real, committed relationships based upon mutual respect. Allison Mauldin, Grad Intern Part I: Pay Now or Pay Later, That is the Question & Stepping Off the Proverbial People-Pleasing Merry-Go-Round
"Care about what other people think, and you will always be their prisoner." ~Unknown Temporarily pleasant or lasting peace? In saying yes to everyone else around you, over time, an individual struggles to say yes to his or her own needs. After experiencing a long string of “yeses” to family, friends, or work colleagues, have you ever felt like someone stuck a straw in your back and sucked the life right out of you? In essence, drained. In other words, does an individual simply wake up one day and say, “When I grow up, I want to be a people pleaser.” Of course, not. In fact, this behavior usually develops early on in an individual’s life, typically during childhood due to several specific factors, such as a desire to feel accepted, safe and secure, a sense of belonging, past traumas, or a fear of being rejected or abandoned, to name just a few. As a recovering people-pleaser, I know the struggle is real. Case in point… Imagine sitting in a nail salon chair experiencing a much-awaited pedicure and restful bliss where the stresses of life melt away when your insides alert you that it is time to run to the “loo.” It must have been that combined cup of water and venti café mocha from Starbucks that did the job. Anyway, said dedicated nail technician is actively working on your less than desirable cuticles and callouses when the urge strikes. Hmm… to interrupt or not to interrupt the technician, that is the question. As you inwardly debate your next course of action, and how “pressing” one’s growing needs are, the increased pressure decides for you, as you awkwardly saunter off with your bare toes to find relief. Perhaps this small scenario is unrelatable but a more pronounced people-pleasing scenario centering around “the most wonderful time of the year,” aka the holiday season, complete with family or extended relatives, might be more relatable. Or consider the following scenario. A friend paints a mural on your wall; however, it is different than the picture you showed to her. Do you… A) Thank her profusely and tell her it is just what you envisioned and is perfect, going on and on about her artistry skills. B) Simply thank her and say nothing else but inwardly cringe and try to think of other options. C) Politely thank her for her hard work and mention a few things about the mural you would like changed. Whatever the case may be, what makes an individual wait till the pressure is mounting, either literally or figuratively, to find relief and to take care of one’s basic necessities for a healthy life, or to express one’s own unique wishes? Such seems to be the case with people-pleasing and, if this indeed presents itself as a real struggle to you, a solid first step is to approach it from a place of curiosity. If you are wondering if you are indeed a people-pleaser, many tell-tale signs exist, such as difficulty saying no and setting effective boundaries around yourself and your resources, seeking validation, approval, and reassurance from others, avoiding conflict and voicing your opinions for the sake of keeping the peace, apologizing when it is not your fault or necessary in order to smooth the situation over, ignoring or putting on the back burner your own goals and needs at the expense of others, or experiencing guilt when you do choose to give priority to your own needs and not accommodate others, and a host more. I am including a link to a free 20 question test below I discovered on Psychology Today. (If interested, simply click on the questions, not the green button, and enter your zip code to see your free results.) https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/tests/relationships/people-pleasing-test With the approaching winter weather, I will leave you with a humorous yet applicable reminder to not “… set yourself on fire to keep others warm” (~Penny Reid in the Beard in Mind). Part II Coming Soon: Exploring the Tell-tale Signs of People-Pleasing, the Causes of People-Pleasing, & Helpful Strategies to Overcome It Ashlyn LaClair, Grad Intern Eating disorders are complex psychological disorders with serious physical consequences. Some common symptoms are dietary restrictions, weight changes, negative body image, binging, purging (including excessive exercise), and excessive thoughts about food, weight, and/or body image. Eating disorders occur across a spectrum and one does not have to be classified as “underweight” to be suffering from a serious eating disorder. Despite common belief, eating disorders and body dysmorphia affect people of all genders, cultures, ages, and body shapes. And let’s face it: We live in a digital age, bombarded by images of unrealistic, unattainable beauty standards, as well as messages about toxic and unsustainable diets, which leads many to dissatisfaction and distress about their own body’s.
Eating disorders and body dysmorphia, though often fixated on food, weight, body image, and distress with one’s own physical shape, are often about so much more. If your thoughts and behaviors about food, weight, or body image are causing you distress, I encourage you to get curious about what more lies underneath that. Is it shame? Perfectionism? Low self-esteem? Need for control? History of abuse? Depression or anxiety? The list goes on. If you feel overwhelmed or distressed with thoughts about food, weight, or body image, or your thoughts and behaviors are affecting your daily functioning, it might be time to reach out to a professional. You can’t live a full life on an empty stomach. Recovery and freedom are possible and you are worthy of it. And remember: You are fearfully and wonderfully made by the Creator Himself! (Psalm 139) Karis Austin, Grad Intern As some of the most prevalent mental health disorders, you may have experienced symptoms of depression or anxiety. Anxiety is characterized by overwhelming feelings of fear, dread, or unease in response to stress. Depression is defined by profound sadness, irritability, and hopelessness, which can lead to fatigue, decreased motivation, and a loss of interest in activities. These symptoms can arise from various factors, including trauma that may result in negative thought patterns, low self-esteem, and poor coping mechanisms, as well as substance misuse, medical conditions, or genetic predispositions. Both anxiety and depression can hinder an individual's ability to flourish.
These disorders can complicate even the simplest tasks, interfering with daily functioning and eroding self-worth and identity. As a result, individuals experiencing these symptoms often become overly critical of themselves and set unrealistic expectations. If someone is facing symptoms of anxiety or depression, it’s crucial that they acknowledge their feelings and keep track of them. Noting when and what they are feeling can help identify potential triggers or harmful habits. If symptoms significantly impair daily functioning or disrupt life, seeking therapeutic support is recommended. Counselors can assist clients in developing skills to counter negative thought patterns and establish healthier behavioral habits. Together, clients and counselors can create a treatment plan that fosters healing and encourages authentic living. Counselors understand that life is complex and challenging and aim to walk alongside and support clients on their healing journey. They empower clients to reclaim their lives, not allowing their trauma to control them, and to find new ways to thrive. Andy Simon, LAPC Many, (possibly you!) chose to participate in “Dry January,” also known as a one-month alcohol campaign, or OMAC. After a holiday season where one’s consumption may have been more than desired, a month-long break from drinking can provide a chance to reset and evaluate substance use goals for the new year. Research shows that completing a month of sobriety is correlated with healthier consumption and overall mental health benefits after the month is over, including up to as much as six months later (de Ternay et al., 2022). This study also argued that those who completed a similar period of sobriety also achieved greater overall physical health, as the period was used by many as a chance to gain greater control of their overall health, not limited to their substance use (de Ternay et al., 2022).
Whether you are seeking a break from use and want to process the impacts that substances have on your daily life, or you are seeking full sobriety, counseling can help you succeed. Overcoming substance use often requires a team of support and a counselor can be a helpful part of this team. Often, simply understanding the triggers that lead one to use substances and having accountability around that use is a solid foundation to beginning a journey toward sobriety. Since many people use substances as a way to cope with difficult situations, understanding your reaction to challenges in your life and improving coping skills also goes a long way to changing your behavior. If you or someone you know would like to change behaviors toward substances in 2025, Bethel Haven has many licensed therapists who can help you along your journey. Please reach out to schedule an appointment; we look forward to working with you. de Ternay, J., Leblanc, P., Michel, P., Benyamina, A., Naassila, M., & Rolland, B. (2022). One-month alcohol abstinence national campaigns: A scoping review of the harm reduction benefits. Harm Reduction Journal, 19(1), 24-24. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12954-022-00603-x |
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Bethel Haven, Inc.
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1622 Mars Hill Road Suite A Watkinsville, GA 30677
P: 706-310-9046
[email protected]
Bethel Haven, Inc.
Copyright © 2016
