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Kara Flynn, Graduate Intern We’ve reached that time of year when Halloween decorations are being put back in their respective boxes, making room for the festive feathers of turkeys and, soon enough, Christmas lights. For some, this approaching season is one full of joy and cheer, celebrating time off to spend with loved ones. For others, it may be a time of immense grief, stress, and anxiety. No matter which boat you’re in, there are mindfulness tools that can help you reclaim your holiday season and enjoy a very merry Christmas.
Tool #1: Connect with your senses. Maybe you find yourself in a heated argument at the dinner table with Cousin Eddie. Take a moment to connect with each of your five senses. Take a few deep breaths, paying close attention to your breathing. Engage your sense of sight. Notice five things you can see, such as Cousin Eddie’s blue leather jacket, the red & white China in the cabinet, your father’s green tie, the crystal glasses on the table, and the gray curtains enclosing the windows. Pay attention to the various colors, shapes, and patterns you see. Next, focus on four things you can touch. Maybe that is your sweater, the tablecloth, your fingers touching each other, and your hair. Pay attention to the different textures and sensations you feel when touching these things. If you find your mind wandering, acknowledge those thoughts and work to refocus on your senses. Now move on to three things you can hear. This could be Cousin Eddie’s voice, the cat Aunt Bethany wrapped in gift wrap scratching for help, and Catherine crying over her inedible turkey. Next, notice two things you can smell, such as the steam coming off the turkey and the product you’ve put in your hair. Finally, pay close attention to one thing you can taste. This could simply be your saliva, because there is absolutely no way you’re eating that turkey. Being present and non-judgmental of these various senses allows us to experience our current moment in its fullness. Engaging with this tool can help to reduce anxiety, stop negative thought patterns in their tracks, and increase feelings of peace. Tool #2: Make time for a mindful activity. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, consider skipping out on the high-speed sledding expedition and engaging in a mindful activity instead. This mindful activity could range from yoga to puzzling to cooking. All of these activities can be done in ways that allow us to focus, pay attention to detail, and be present. Feel the texture of the puzzle pieces in your hands, or the spatula going through your mashed potatoes. Consider the sensations you feel in your muscles with each new yoga pose. Slowing these activities down in a way that reconnects you with the experience will help usher in a sense of calm and steadiness in the midst of what can be a chaotic season. Tool #3: Write out a gratitude list. Maybe it feels like nothing is going according to plan. You spent weeks setting up holiday lights around your house, and they just won’t turn on! Rather than dwelling on the frustrations of each day, consider making a gratitude list at the end of each day. Take fifteen minutes before going to sleep to remind yourself of the blessings you encountered in your day. Returning to a posture of thankfulness allows us to reclaim control of the negative emotions our minds so desperately want to dwell on. This can be done in a journal, your Notes app, or a Word document. Pick a platform that makes the most sense for you. Be as specific as possible with your list; a detailed list is better than one with many surface-level things. This practice can allow you to become more selfaware, noticing things that are important to you. Additionally, these lists can give us tangible examples of goodness to look back on when hard times come around, as we know they will. Consider making this a part of your daily routine, beyond just this holiday season. Keeping a gratitude list or journal may help improve the quality of your relationships, as well as your wellbeing. Tool #4: Engage in a walking meditation. While the holiday season is full of rest and relaxation, the power of mindful movement cannot be understated. Throw on your walking shoes and your favorite silver sauna suit! Walking meditation can help us become more aware of our internal experiences, as well as our psychical surroundings. In doing so, it allows us to grow in control of our thoughts, feelings, and actions, as we learn to slow down the processes we engage in daily. This can be done using a guided walking meditation video (easily found on YouTube), or the following instructions. After finding a place to walk, take between ten and fifteen steps forward. Then, pause and breathe. Continue doing so for as long as you’d like. Whenever you’re ready, turn around and walk back in the direction you can. Take another opportunity to pause and breathe again. In doing this exercise, try to notice the lifting of one foot, moving the foot forward, placing it on the ground, and shifting the weight of your body to take another step. Focus also on your breath, the movement of the various parts of your body, the sounds you hear around you, and all that you can see before you. Rather than letting your mind wander, work to reorient it back to the task at hand. Engaging with this tool can allow us to reset and take a moment to be present in our bodies, before moving onto the next activity of the day. Tool #5: Try out the Embodiment Mindfulness Meditation. Maybe sitting in your attic, reminiscing on Christmases past, has you feeling emotions you would rather avoid. Or perhaps this is your first Christmas without a loved one. If you are seeking a way to get in touch with and explore these emotions, consider trying the Embodiment Mindfulness Meditation. This exercise draws us deeper into the physical experience of painful emotions. This process can be difficult, but very transformative. Rather than listing all instructions here, you can be guided through this meditation by simply searching “Probably the most Transformative Exercise for Processing Painful Emotions - Embodiment Meditation” by Therapy in a Nutshell on YouTube. If you’re in a place where you feel safe to sit with these emotions, consider using this tool. While there is no “one size fits all” for minimizing stress during the holidays, these tools provide a little something for everyone. Whether your father has just driven your family underneath a logging truck while searching for the perfect Christmas tree or you’ve witnessed Cousin Eddie emptying his mobile home’s chemical toilet into your sewer drain, everyone runs into stress, anxiety, and a plethora of other unwanted emotions during this season. By making time to be mindful, you can free yourself up to eat, drink, and be merry.
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Madison Drake, APC In the spirit of Thanksgiving, we wanted to share that we are thankful for you! Throughout this busy holiday season, it can be so easy to get wrapped up in the checklists and the shopping, and forget the importance of community and giving. The recipe for a hopeful holiday starts with you! When your holiday tradition includes Bethel Haven, you are not only giving to your community, you are extending our table to feed more people and fill their plates with help, hope and healing!
By partnering to build a better community, you can help families and individuals get the help they need! Giving to a good cause can trigger the happy chemicals in our brains to make us feel better and lighter, and who doesn’t love feeling good, especially around the holidays? When you decide to lean in and give to a place like Bethel Haven, you become more aware of not only the importance of mental health, but also the impact that good mental health has on the world around you. Researching a topic produces answers, when researching and choosing to represent a non-profit, you and those around you become more informed, resulting in positive change, not just in your life, but in the lives of those around you! Non-profits need your support; when you give, it shows your passion. Think about what is important to you, what is it that tugs on your heart? Choosing to give to a place like Bethel Haven advocates for that passion. If you desire to see change, Bethel Haven is the place to consider! Donations look good on you! When you give to a non-profit, it can be a tax-deduction, though we hope that is not the only reason you would give! Non-profits, like Bethel Haven, depend on donations to promote programs and reach goals. By giving, you are not only writing a check, you are helping write someone’s story. Your help brings light to a dark world. It is easy to get caught up in the heaviness that surrounds us. At Bethel Haven, we strive to make each person’s life a little lighter. You can make a difference! To continue seeing clients, providing the quality of service our clients need, and having the materials to do so, some expenses cannot be covered by grants alone. Most grants in the non-profit world come with guidelines the office needs to follow; with your help, we are able to be innovative and provide better quality sessions for you and others! Individual donations help us help the community. Bethel Haven aims to create a space for help, hope and healing. We are dedicated to serving this community. We strive to address the needs of the whole person, recognizing the biological, social, spiritual, and psychological components that make up each person who walks through our door. If you have ever asked yourself how you can best help your community, choosing to share with Bethel Haven is one of the best things you can do! Rob Knight, APC Social Media is something that parents in the United States and the world all battle with daily. Does social media have any benefits? Can we as parents turn a tool that the enemy meant for bad into something good? (Genesis 50:20) Social media applications run off personalized algorithms. A personalized algorithm in our phone, computer, or whatever medium we use is tailored to learn from us (SCARY I KNOW) and our connections to show us whatever will keep us on the apps we choose as long as possible (Bickers, 2023). These algorithms are set to drive specific areas of content intake for users such as friend relationships, content quality, prior user engagement, page relationships, etc. While watching videos, the algorithm can calculate how long the user stays and watches specific videos and which videos that user may scroll directly past. This allows the algorithm to funnel more videos like the ones the user watches and eliminate the ones scrolled past. The algorithm can turn a user's content into an echo chamber and confirm what the user believes to be the absolute truth and only strengthen their viewpoint as the only true and correct viewpoint. While this algorithm can have a negative effect on social media, if we can teach our teens to become aware of this algorithm, then we, as parents, can funnel positive and useful content into the social media apps being used. Ways to improve our children’s social media algorithm;
The negative side effects of social media on mental health are clear. Major depressive disorder and anxiety can directly be related to teens viewing others social media page and feeling FOMO (fear of missing out) (Bickers, 2023). Cyberbullying is also on the rise with the amount of use in social media and teens. Teenagers can hide behind usernames and say whatever they want with no repercussions. However, the biggest issue with social media addiction is isolation. The internet and social media were made to connect others, but it seems to do the opposite for teenagers. Studies have shown that more than 3 hours per day on social media can lead to negative mental health effects. How Can Families Help?
Resources Bickers, Hunter. (2023). Social Media for Teens: Good or Bad? 2023 LPCAGA Conference. Telehealth.org Madison Drake, APC Welcome to the end of the first month of school! Routines have started and are already getting forgotten, homework is more than we thought, and everyone is getting sick. This post is not going to help with that last one, but it will hopefully help its reader to be more aware of what comes with back to school. Here at Bethel Haven, we see so many children, teens, college students and even teachers, so we know a thing or two when it comes to school! Some things we want you to learn from this can be applied to students at home or in the classroom, it is not just for parents or teachers, it is for anyone who is in school or involved with school. With the busyness of back to school, some things can get overlooked. Maybe you are a teacher and you have noticed a student who removes themselves from the rest of class at lunch, or you are a parent and your child has decided to answer your question of “how was school today?” with “fine.” Back to school can be an adjustment! Parents, teachers, and even students, if you are reading this blog and recognize some of the behaviors listed later, know that you are welcome to share with your therapist what is going on. If you are reading this and do not have a counselor, we are always available to meet with you! Bethel Haven, and specifically your counselor, wants you to succeed!
One thing to do during this season is build awareness. Sometimes children/ students will not want to talk about what is bothering them, so they will begin to speak through their actions. Important things to look out for in your classroom, at home, or in your fellow students are: - A child/ student sitting away from the rest of the class. This could look like isolation at lunch or purposefully sitting in the back of class away from other students. - Teachers and parents, if your student or child has had a jump in their grades, it could be a sign of needing help. Most students will not ask for help out of fear of embarrassment or judgment. If you have noticed a student who has not been doing well grade wise, consider giving extra time on assignments or asking if they would like help! There could be a block in their learning and they do not know how to express it. - Excessive talking or silence. If a student, friend or child has been super quiet recently when they are usually quite talkative, give them space to feel heard even in their silence. If they are talking more than normal, ask questions directed toward the current topic! - Frequent office visits or missing class. If a student has been avoiding a specific class, there usually is a reason! Teachers, your student could feel bad, or they could also be avoiding a hard subject for them. There is also the topic of bullying. If there is a student who is less than kind to the one who has decided to remove themselves, look into how your class is interacting with each other! - Parents, if your child has had a change in appetite, this is so important! We are surrounded by a “standard” and comparison is happening all around your student. If you have noticed an increase or decrease in their meals, it could be a sign they are stuck in a comparison trap. - Reckless behavior or out of character behavior. If you are noticing a friend, student or child who has been acting out of their ‘norm’, consider it a sign they need your help. So often, behavior is brushed off as “just changing”, but sometimes it can lead to much worse. Monitor what your child or student is doing or watching, and students, if you notice this, do not be afraid to speak to a teacher or your classmate who could be needing help! Being there for your student can sometimes feel exhausting, especially if you have tried asking the “how was your day” question mentioned earlier. Encourage your student/ child by reminding them that they are smart and capable! One thing that I love to do to help build confidence in my clients is “mirror affirmations”. This can be done in a classroom or at home, all you need is a mirror and sticky notes! Writing out different “I am” statements and sticking them to a mirror helps your brain to recognize what you want to work on. Looking in the mirror and reading each note reframes your thinking as you see yourself speaking these truths over yourself. When asking what is new in the car line after school, or the phone call you get from your college student, instead of asking the same thing, try incorporating new words! “Did anything weird happen today?” is one I like to use with younger clients who might not answer the basic question. Switch up the words to make it your own, and your student will hopefully appreciate the newness. With routines, it is hard to stick to one the whole year. A lot can be helped by the whole house practicing the same thing. If your student struggles with being on their phone until late at night, practice putting your phones to bed in your home. Setting limitations, not only for your student, but also for yourself, can be so helpful in the act of winding down and preparing for bed. Excess blue light may make your eyes tired, but it keeps your brain awake, eventually making sleep feel so far away. Instead of doom scrolling or staying up to write that last page of the essay you forgot about, opt for a more “boring” activity. Reading or journaling before bed is one that I suggest often. Another way to encourage a healthy routine is to invite your child or student into the decision making. This could look like asking what new snacks they would like to have, or what games to play, or switching up who makes dinner that night. At the end of the day, back to school feels easy to navigate. Remember that your child, student, or friend will not always feel comfortable sharing what might be going on in their mind or during their day. If you feel that you have noticed any of these things listed above, and you have tried to find a solution and still feel stuck, your counselor at Bethel Haven will be so happy to work with you and/or your child/ student. Your student is never alone and neither are you! Karis Austin, Grad Intern “Protecting the Protectors: Why Therapy is Vital for First Responders”
First responders carry a heavy burden—physically, mentally, and emotionally. While their job is to protect the public, their own mental health is often neglected. The reality is that behind the uniform are human beings who face trauma, high-stress situations, and immense pressure daily. Therapy can be a lifeline—not just for crisis management, but for long-term resilience and well-being. The Unique Stressors of First Responders First responders experience a level of stress few can fully understand:
The Stigma Around Seeking Help In many departments, a "tough it out" mentality still prevails. Responders may fear that admitting they’re struggling will be seen as weakness or could jeopardize their careers. This stigma can prevent them from reaching out until they’re in crisis. Therapy offers a confidential, non-judgmental space where responders can process their experiences, learn coping strategies, and strengthen emotional resilience—without having to wear the badge or the armor. How Therapy Helps Therapy for first responders isn’t just about crisis intervention; it’s also about prevention and empowerment. Here’s how it can help:
Departments that embrace mental health support see improvements in morale, performance, and retention. This includes:
Madison Drake, APC Therapy can help pastors navigate emotions that may be playing a role in their relationship with the Lord. It can help navigate ministry related stress or stress from everyday life, ultimately enhancing their effectiveness and their own well-being. Pastors and church leaders are under stress that a congregation may not be aware of, and with the help of a counselor, they can better handle burnout and stress without it showing in a sermon. When a pastor struggles with their mental health, it is usually not talked about. The congregation views them as humans with a direct contact line to the Lord, and that if they do struggle, it is not as bad as when the “normal, average person” does.
After speaking with a local pastor, he brought light on this subject and stated that he feels “some pastors feel like it’s irresponsible to seek counseling or really an emotional outlet because they feel like they have to be the ones to answer everyone else”. This quote leads to an idea that pastors may feel like they cannot have an issue, because they have to be the place everyone else comes to bring their issue. We may see this as a side effect of pastors not being taught differently. Some pastors sit with their problems because they feel like they need to be the solution to others’ problems. As a church leader, you are considered the “face” of the church. When the stress of ministry work begins to take a toll on your body and soul, which it will, it is important to have a physical outlet to release the heavy burdens and be reminded to pick up the yoke of Jesus that is easy and light (Matthew 11:28-30).Pastors are real people with real problems. Just like anyone on earth needs a relationship with the Creator, and a little bit of help sometimes, the “face of the church” is allowed to also seek out this help. Vance Sims, LCSW Being an educator can impinge on most of the areas of your life, as you probably already know. Here are some items to think about as you continue to make a difference in the lives of young people and, hence, so many families.
Stress Management & Burnout Prevention: · Create strategies for a sustainable career: make room for important (not the urgent) in your life. Determine what is important in your life. Write them down. Now make room for them. You will have to eliminate some other things. You can’t create more time. My guess is that the urgent is crowding out the important. A question to ask: How do you invest in your students/classroom environment, that pays you back after your investment? Doing that work on the front-end typically pays off sustainably over the long haul. · A piece of the above is learning to say ‘no'. Keeping your Life-Work balance in check will necessitate you saying no at work. It may slow your career path, but you will be happier, those you love will want you to be closer, and your career will probably last longer if you want it too. · Taking care of yourself: What do you do for yourself? Those things don’t have to be huge, but they do need to be consistent and things/experiences that bring you peace and calm. The actual ‘things’ don’t have to be peaceful and calm, but bring you peace and calm. It might be a hot bath or indulgent chocolate and your favorite music, but they might include vigorous workout, going on a walk… but it needs to bring you peace and calm. Have you ever tried mindfulness or meditation? Deeply engaging in a spiritual or personal discipline like prayer, fasting, being alone (good luck if you’re a mom!). Getting good sleep. Science continues to discover how important sleep is to our mental and physical health. · Seek help when needed. Educators are incredibly resilient, just like the students you shepherd. However, everyone in this life will have circumstances and situations that are overwhelming. Most people manage those overwhelming times in a matter of hours. However, when those moments last days, weeks, or months, seek help. If you have deeply trusted friends, that is what they are for (if you don’t have one or two, work at developing those). However, sometimes you need a professional perspective. This is not a sign of weakness or inability any more than going to the MD is when you have a fever and your throat is really sore. Thank you for doing the never-ending work of being an educator. Your contributions to our society cannot be overstated – but please, please take care of yourself! Madison Drake, APC Children model behaviors, what are they seeing you do? As parents, it is imperative to know what the world is saying and what the Word is saying. To be aware of what the world is pushing on your children, understanding that the words we read in scripture are there to help correct what is wrong in society and culture. Society encourages us to put ourselves at the center, scripture encourages us to place Christ at the center of our lives. The difference is incomparable. The “all about me” approach to life is ultimately what led to the fall of Creation. With Jesus at the center of our lives, we find freedom. Our worth should be found through the Lord and not through likes and shares. Parents, when your children see the way that you act, you are showing them what is right. Show them that freedom comes from Christ and not a different set of circumstances. Today, we are surrounded by the media; it’s inescapable. The comparison game is huge, especially in the lives of this generation. Gen Alpha’s defining life events are advancement in Artificial Intelligence, politics, and screen time. They are more connected to technology than any other generation and have immediate access to information that increases rates of anxiety, depression and even suicide. Culture screams the opposite of Jesus’ message to them, the call to deny ourselves. The media is screaming that we are on the same level as God, which points to the idea that “only true happiness can come from me”.
Gen Alpha is growing up in a world where everything is “normal” and rarely anything is biblical. Sexuality and gender are discussed commonly, the traditional view of sexuality and relationships is no longer the baseline, and culture shows that more and more are adopting the LGBTQ+ lifestyle at such young ages. If you do not think that media plays a role in your child’s life, just look at their screen time and listen to the way they speak to or about themselves. Gen A has been exposed to screens to pacify, entertain and educate. Some children have a large digital footprint before they are even born! Oxford University’s “Word of the Year” in 2024 was “brain rot” which means “the supposed deterioration of a person’s mental health or intellectual state… from overconsumption…”(Who is Gen Alpha?). Constant scrolling is killing attention spans. Algorithms are shaping our actions. What we see and what we like continues to populate our feed, ultimately leading us down rabbit holes that leave us wanting more of something. Gen Alpha, and really any generation that is exposed to society and media, is becoming more isolated and less resilient. So, how can we help? Ask your children what they care about and care about it, too. If your belief does not line up with theirs, leave room for discussion, but remember, YOU are the parent and it is your job to train up your children in the way they should walk (Proverbs 22:6). Emphasize authenticity and honesty; be authentic with your children! They are searching for it online, and realness is hard to find when everyone only posts their “best”. Create opportunities for connection. Have routines that you are a part of, encourage them to spend time outside of TikTok and connect with you and the Lord. Meet your children where they are; just as God has been gracious to you, be gracious and forgiving to them! Again, YOU are the parent and it is your responsibility to teach them. Reframe the way they see failure. Model faith and a relationship with the Lord to encourage their spiritual walk. Most of all, pray fervently for them. The enemy has no hold over your children when they are covered by your bold prayers! Mueller, W. (2025, March). Too Much Me. CPYU Parent Page . https://cpyuparentpage.com/2025-marcheemeft/ Who is Gen Alpha?. Axis. (2025, March 17). https://axis.org/resource/a-parent-guide-to-gen-alpha/?utm_campaign=The+One+Conversation&utm_medium=email&_hsenc=p2ANqtz--42iYd-FfW2lZ2iiD5OXZ90NFLDTCWnsj50zFxGXbvHeJF2r__DLOl8qYj5u7Rnfovn8Xe4lTFSfnulJ7OL4TRGiI8LQ&_hsmi=352340996&utm_content=352340996&utm_source=hs_email Karis Austin, Grad Intern Nurturing Your Emotional Well-Being: The Heart of Self-Care
In the fast pace of daily life, emotional self-care often takes a backseat. Yet, it's one of the most vital aspects of our overall well-being. Emotional self-care means giving yourself permission to feel, process, and express your emotions in a healthy way. It might look like setting boundaries with people who drain you, taking time to journal your thoughts, or talking to a trusted friend or therapist. It’s also about being kind to yourself—recognizing that your feelings are valid and deserve attention, not judgment. Here are some simple yet powerful emotional self-care practices:
Remember: when you care for your emotional health, you strengthen your ability to show up fully—for yourself and for others. Allison Mauldin, Grad Student What Comes First… the Chicken or the Egg?
Most everyone is familiar with the age-old question of what comes first… the chicken or the egg. However, the same question could be asked of physical and emotional care. So, what aspect is most important? They tend to go hand in hand, overlapping, with it being difficult to distinguish where one begins and the other ends. Many benefits exist for both types of care. In fact, I imagine you can rattle off at least five physical benefits off the top of your head right now. Benefits such as decreased risks of chronic diseases later on in life, increased energy and less fatigue, strengthening your muscles, taking preventative strides, such as doctors’ visits, proper sleep, rest, and nutrition more than likely made your list. Additionally, greater quality of life overall and enhanced mental health, such as decreasing depressive and anxiety symptoms, may result from engaging in physical endeavors. So, if we instinctively know that the advantages are ready and waiting for us, why do we sometimes internally struggle with taking care of ourselves, or place our health on the back burner? Why do New Year’s resolutions often fall by the wayside by the end of the first month? Reasons vary from a simple lack of time to a lack of prioritizing and setting specific goals, from a lack of motivation to self-sabotage, or from underlying feelings of inadequacy to low self-worth. Whatever the reasoning, how can we implement positive changes towards our physical health? One suggestion is to brainstorm and write SMART goals where the goals set are: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound (University of California, 2017). Check out the University of California’s how to guide at https://www.ucop.edu/local-human-resources/_files/performance-appraisal/How+to+write+SMART+Goals+v2.pdf. The beauty of SMART goals is that they can apply to any goals in your life, not just enhancing your physical health. Or if you need to investigate more underlying reasons which are preventing you from taking care of yourself physically, you can explore a CBT technique called the Downward Arrow Technique video here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qr7hS-mNhEY (The Psych Diaries, 2024), where a clinical psychologist from Sydney, Australia provides tools to help uncover core beliefs or fears that may be holding you back. Thus, does it really matter if the chicken or the egg comes first? Rather, given our present discussion, does it matter if emotional or physical care is more important to our well-being, as long as we approach both from a growth mindset, intent on improving our overall health? In the words of famous actor Bill Murray in What About Bob, be “smart” and “baby step” your way to success. |
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December 2025
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