Reclaiming your Christmas Vacation

Kara Flynn, Graduate Intern

We’ve reached that time of year when Halloween decorations are being put back in their respective boxes, making room for the festive feathers of turkeys and, soon enough, Christmas lights. For some, this approaching season is one full of joy and cheer, celebrating time off to spend with loved ones. For others, it may be a time of immense grief, stress, and anxiety. No matter which boat you’re in, there are mindfulness tools that can help you reclaim your holiday season and enjoy a very merry Christmas.
Tool #1: Connect with your senses. Maybe you find yourself in a heated argument at the dinner table with Cousin Eddie. Take a moment to connect with each of your five senses. Take a few deep breaths, paying close attention to your breathing. Engage your sense of sight. Notice five things you can see, such as Cousin Eddie’s blue leather jacket, the red & white China in the cabinet, your father’s green tie, the crystal glasses on the table, and the gray curtains enclosing the windows. Pay attention to the various colors, shapes, and patterns you see. Next, focus on four things you can touch. Maybe that is your sweater, the tablecloth, your fingers touching each other, and your hair. Pay attention to the different textures and sensations you feel when touching these things. If you find your mind wandering, acknowledge those thoughts and work to refocus on your senses. Now move on to three things you can hear. This could be Cousin Eddie’s voice, the cat Aunt Bethany wrapped in gift wrap scratching for help, and Catherine crying over her inedible turkey. Next, notice two things you can smell, such as the steam coming off the turkey and the product you’ve put in your hair. Finally, pay close attention to one thing you can taste. This could simply be your saliva, because there is absolutely no way you’re eating that turkey. Being present and non-judgmental of these various senses allows us to experience our current moment in its fullness. Engaging with this tool can help to reduce anxiety, stop negative thought patterns in their tracks, and increase feelings of peace.
Tool #2: Make time for a mindful activity. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, consider skipping out on the high-speed sledding expedition and engaging in a mindful activity instead. This mindful activity could range from yoga to puzzling to cooking. All of these activities can be done in ways that allow us to focus, pay attention to detail, and be present. Feel the texture of the puzzle pieces in your hands, or the spatula going through your mashed potatoes. Consider the sensations you feel in your muscles with each new yoga pose. Slowing these activities down in a way that reconnects you with the experience will help usher in a sense of calm and steadiness in the midst of what can be a chaotic season.
Tool #3: Write out a gratitude list. Maybe it feels like nothing is going according to plan. You spent weeks setting up holiday lights around your house, and they just won’t turn on! Rather than dwelling on the frustrations of each day, consider making a gratitude list at the end of each day. Take fifteen minutes before going to sleep to remind yourself of the blessings you encountered in your day. Returning to a posture of thankfulness allows us to reclaim control of the negative emotions our minds so desperately want to dwell on. This can be done in a journal, your Notes app, or a Word document. Pick a platform that makes the most sense for you. Be as specific as possible with your list; a detailed list is better than one with many surface-level things. This practice can allow you to become more selfaware, noticing things that are important to you. Additionally, these lists can give us tangible examples of goodness to look back on when hard times come around, as we know they will. Consider making this a part of your daily routine, beyond just this holiday season. Keeping a gratitude list or journal may help improve the quality of your relationships, as well as your wellbeing.
​Tool #4: Engage in a walking meditation. While the holiday season is full of rest and relaxation, the power of mindful movement cannot be understated. Throw on your walking shoes and your favorite silver sauna suit! Walking meditation can help us become more aware of our internal experiences, as well as our psychical surroundings. In doing so, it allows us to grow in control of our thoughts, feelings, and actions, as we learn to slow down the processes we engage in daily. This can be done using a guided walking meditation video (easily found on YouTube), or the following instructions. After finding a place to walk, take between ten and fifteen steps forward. Then, pause and breathe. Continue doing so for as long as you’d like. Whenever you’re ready, turn around and walk back in the direction you can. Take another opportunity to pause and breathe again. In doing this exercise, try to notice the lifting of one foot, moving the foot forward, placing it on the ground, and shifting the weight of your body to take another step. Focus also on your breath, the movement of the various parts of your body, the sounds you hear around you, and all that you can see before you. Rather than letting your mind wander, work to reorient it back to the task at hand. Engaging with this tool can allow us to reset and take a moment to be present in our bodies, before moving onto the next activity of the day.
Tool #5: Try out the Embodiment Mindfulness Meditation. Maybe sitting in your attic, reminiscing on Christmases past, has you feeling emotions you would rather avoid. Or perhaps this is your first Christmas without a loved one. If you are seeking a way to get in touch with and explore these emotions, consider trying the Embodiment Mindfulness Meditation. This exercise draws us deeper into the physical experience of painful emotions. This process can be difficult, but very transformative. Rather than listing all instructions here, you can be guided through this meditation by simply searching “Probably the most Transformative Exercise for Processing Painful Emotions - Embodiment Meditation” by Therapy in a Nutshell on YouTube. If you’re in a place where you feel safe to sit with these emotions, consider using this tool.
While there is no “one size fits all” for minimizing stress during the holidays, these tools provide a little something for everyone. Whether your father has just driven your family underneath a logging truck while searching for the perfect Christmas tree or you’ve witnessed Cousin Eddie emptying his mobile home’s chemical toilet into your sewer drain, everyone runs into stress, anxiety, and a plethora of other unwanted emotions during this season. By making time to be mindful, you can free yourself up to eat, drink, and be merry.​​