Back to School

Madison Drake, APC

Welcome to the end of the first month of school! Routines have started and are already getting forgotten, homework is more than we thought, and everyone is getting sick. This post is not going to help with that last one, but it will hopefully help its reader to be more aware of what comes with back to school. Here at Bethel Haven, we see so many children, teens, college students and even teachers, so we know a thing or two when it comes to school! Some things we want you to learn from this can be applied to students at home or in the classroom, it is not just for parents or teachers, it is for anyone who is in school or involved with school. With the busyness of back to school, some things can get overlooked. Maybe you are a teacher and you have noticed a student who removes themselves from the rest of class at lunch, or you are a parent and your child has decided to answer your question of “how was school today?” with “fine.” Back to school can be an adjustment! Parents, teachers, and even students, if you are reading this blog and recognize some of the behaviors listed later, know that you are welcome to share with your therapist what is going on. If you are reading this and do not have a counselor, we are always available to meet with you! Bethel Haven, and specifically your counselor, wants you to succeed!

One thing to do during this season is build awareness. Sometimes children/ students will not want to talk about what is bothering them, so they will begin to speak through their actions. Important things to look out for in your classroom, at home, or in your fellow students are:
- A child/ student sitting away from the rest of the class. This could look like isolation at lunch or purposefully sitting in the back of class away from other students.
- Teachers and parents, if your student or child has had a jump in their grades, it could be a sign of needing help. Most students will not ask for help out of fear of embarrassment or judgment. If you have noticed a student who has not been doing well grade wise, consider giving extra time on assignments or asking if they would like help! There could be a block in their learning and they do not know how to express it.
- Excessive talking or silence. If a student, friend or child has been super quiet recently when they are usually quite talkative, give them space to feel heard even in their silence. If they are talking more than normal, ask questions directed toward the current topic!
- Frequent office visits or missing class. If a student has been avoiding a specific class, there usually is a reason! Teachers, your student could feel bad, or they could also be avoiding a hard subject for them. There is also the topic of bullying. If there is a student who is less than kind to the one who has decided to remove themselves, look into how your class is interacting with each other!
- Parents, if your child has had a change in appetite, this is so important! We are surrounded by a “standard” and comparison is happening all around your student. If you have noticed an increase or decrease in their meals, it could be a sign they are stuck in a comparison trap.
- Reckless behavior or out of character behavior. If you are noticing a friend, student or child who has been acting out of their ‘norm’, consider it a sign they need your help. So often, behavior is brushed off as “just changing”, but sometimes it can lead to much worse. Monitor what your child or student is doing or watching, and students, if you
notice this, do not be afraid to speak to a teacher or your classmate who could be needing help!

Being there for your student can sometimes feel exhausting, especially if you have tried asking the “how was your day” question mentioned earlier. Encourage your student/ child by reminding them that they are smart and capable! One thing that I love to do to help build confidence in my clients is “mirror affirmations”. This can be done in a classroom or at home, all you need is a mirror and sticky notes! Writing out different “I am” statements and sticking them to a mirror helps your brain to recognize what you want to work on. Looking in the mirror and reading each note reframes your thinking as you see yourself speaking these truths over yourself. When asking what is new in the car line after school, or the phone call you get from your college student, instead of asking the same thing, try incorporating new words! “Did anything weird happen today?” is one I like to use with younger clients who might not answer the basic question. Switch up the words to make it your own, and your student will hopefully appreciate the newness.

With routines, it is hard to stick to one the whole year. A lot can be helped by the whole house practicing the same thing. If your student struggles with being on their phone until late at night, practice putting your phones to bed in your home. Setting limitations, not only for your student, but also for yourself, can be so helpful in the act of winding down and preparing for bed. Excess blue light may make your eyes tired, but it keeps your brain awake, eventually making sleep feel so far away. Instead of doom scrolling or staying up to write that last page of the essay you forgot about, opt for a more “boring” activity. Reading or journaling before bed is one that I suggest often. Another way to encourage a healthy routine is to invite your child or student into the decision making. This could look like asking what new snacks they would like to have, or what games to play, or switching up who makes dinner that night.
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At the end of the day, back to school feels easy to navigate. Remember that your child, student, or friend will not always feel comfortable sharing what might be going on in their mind or during their day. If you feel that you have noticed any of these things listed above, and you have tried to find a solution and still feel stuck, your counselor at Bethel Haven will be so happy to work with you and/or your child/ student. Your student is never alone and neither are you!